This could be done as part of a Hot Seat exercise or by itself. People take turns volunteering to be the focus person. Everyone else shares their thoughts:

What do you think are the problem areas that a member of the group is not seeing about themselves? Are they denying something which others think are true? Etc.

People hearing about their blind spots are encouraged to start responding by saying "What feels true about what you are saying is___" Rather than responding defensively or contradicting the suggested blind spot. As with anything in transparency groups, you participate because you want to see yourself more clearly and hearing from others is a way to achieve that.

The Facilitator is responsible for honoring the Agenda Contract. The Facilitator keeps the questions and discussion focused on the agenda item. Be gentle, but firm, because fairness dictates that each agenda item gets only the time allotted. The Agenda Contract is made when the agenda is reviewed and accepted. This agreement includes:

• The items on the agenda
• The order in which they are considered
• The time allotted to each

Unless the whole group agrees to change the agenda, the Facilitator is obligated to keep the contract. The decision to change the agenda must be a Consensus, with little or no discussion.

At the beginning of the meeting, the agenda is presented to the whole group and reviewed, item by item. Any member can add an item if it has been omitted. While every agenda suggestion must be included in the agenda, it does not necessarily get as much time as the presenter wants. Time ought to be divided fairly, with individuals recognizing the fairness of old items getting more time than new items and urgent items getting more time than items which can wait until the next meeting, etc. Also, review the suggested presenters and time limits. If anything seems inappropriate or unreasonable, adjustments must be made. Once the whole agenda has been reviewed and consented to, the agenda becomes a contract. The Facilitator is obligated to follow the order and time limits. This encourages members to be on time to meetings.

Contributors: C.T. Butler, Amy Rothstein

Recommended Books: On Conflict on Consensus

Increasingly, BUDs are finding it helpful to break into separate groups to support other needs or projects. These groups may serve several purposes:

• To provide safety and support when dealing with issues of sex role oppression or other emotionally loaded subjects.
• To think through issues, and strategies, to ensure that everyone can participate and that ideas can surface and be developed in a less competitive atmosphere.
• To give mutual support for personal growth.

Separate groups may happen only occasionally for specific purposes or may be built into the regular BUD process. Often people in a network are carrying out lonely struggles within other organizations (human "service" bureaucracies, health systems, industries, more traditional social action agencies, etc.). They need a place where they can think out loud, get ideas for what to do, and get active support for charging ahead.

One of the aims of a BUD is encouraging people (both individuals and whole segments of society) to (re)discover their innate power, creativity, and human-ness. To become empowered in this way, we have to deal with all the feelings that are the opposite of that: powerlessness, hopelessness, self put-downs. 

Types of Support:

Clearness Meetings

Individual Crunch

Sources: Building Social Change Communities

Contributors: Peter Woodrow, The Training/Action Affinity Group of Movement for a New Society

Recommended Reading:  Building Social Change Communities 

It is recommended you review this video every 3-4 months as a refresher. Old habits die hard, but reviewing this quarterly helps us eliminate our behaviors that do not serve us and help us bond more closely with others.

The pace or flow of the meeting is the responsibility of the Facilitator. If the atmosphere starts to become tense, choose techniques which encourage balance and cooperation. If the meeting is going slowly and people are becoming restless, suggest a stretch or rearrange the agenda.

People who live alone tend to spend a lot of time alone and are often lonely. In The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the Twenty-first Century, psychiatrists Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz describe how hard it is for people to admit their loneliness. The myth of the self-reliant independent person is a pervasive American story. The authors devote a full chapter discussing the living arrangement of and with great concern note the growing trend toward living alone. They discuss how living alone can lead to feeling left out and even to paranoia if not checked. "Simply having a roommate to complain to can make all the difference in the world, restoring perspective and maybe even a sense of humor." They go on to say "Whatever our own individual sensitivity, our well-being suffers when our particular need for connection has not been met... Evolution fashioned us not only to feel good when connected, but to feel secure."

Why is it that we all want the "You go girl!" or "Atta boy!" encouragement when we try something new? Why are support groups so successful? We need other people to cheer us on. When we take on a new challenge, be it cooking a soft-boiled egg, or deciding to shed 50 pounds, or learning to play an instrument, if there's nobody to tell us we did well, it is easy to lose one's enthusiasm.