GET IT ALL

Sharing meals adds a level of complexity around the Home-mate relationship that you may or may not want. Meals require planning, shopping, money, cooking, and time. They can add immeasurably to the Home-mate relationship and provide convenience of having someone else to cook some of your meals, or they can become a source of conflict. The easiest choice is to keep food and meals separate, but that may not be the right choice for you. 

Sources: Sharing Housing: A Guidebook for Finding and Keeping Good Housemates

Contributors:  Annamarie Pluhar

Recommended Books: Sharing Housing: A Guidebook for Finding and Keeping Good Housemates

The usefulness of polling within Consensus is primarily classification of the relative importance of several issues. It is an especially useful technique when the Facilitator is confused or uncertain about the status of a proposal and wants some clarity to be able to suggest what might be the next process technique. Polls are not decisions, they are non-binding referenda. All too often, straw polls are used when the issues are completely clear and the majority wants to intimidate the minority into submission by showing overwhelming support rather than to discuss the issues and resolve the concerns. Clear and simple questions are best. Polls that involve 3 or more choices can be especially manipulative. Use with discretion.

Is public transportation essential to you? Or useful? If so, how far are you willing to walk to the bus or train? Is this the same distance you are willing to walk even in bad inclement weather? How often does the bus or train need to run for your needs? Are weekdays only, okay? Or do you want access on weekends late at night?

Sources: Sharing Housing: A Guidebook for Finding and Keeping Good Housemates

Contributors:  Annamarie Pluhar

Recommended Books: Sharing Housing: A Guidebook for Finding and Keeping Good Housemates

Closely related, but not the same, is the issue of neatness. A space that isn't neat is cluttered. Clutter comes in all forms, from old newspapers and mail left on surfaces to a piece of clothing left where it was taken off. Again what do you like, what can't you live with? What can you maintain?

Sources: Sharing Housing: A Guidebook for Finding and Keeping Good Housemates

Contributors:  Annamarie Pluhar

Recommended Books: Sharing Housing: A Guidebook for Finding and Keeping Good Housemates

This could be done as part of a Hot Seat exercise or by itself. People take turns volunteering to be the focus person. Everyone else shares their thoughts:

What do you think are the problem areas that a member of the group is not seeing about themselves? Are they denying something which others think are true? Etc.

People hearing about their blind spots are encouraged to start responding by saying "What feels true about what you are saying is___" Rather than responding defensively or contradicting the suggested blind spot. As with anything in transparency groups, you participate because you want to see yourself more clearly and hearing from others is a way to achieve that.